Take a minute and think about this? I am talking to those who have been married for 10 years, 15 years and those who have been married for 20 or more years; do you still close your eyes when you kiss? When we think about marriage today in our society, it seems like a disposal entity. If you just don’t have that loving feeling anymore, nah then get a divorce. Let’s face it, marriage has its highs and lows with times when we are not even sure that we like our significant other, but we remain committed, nonetheless. Statistics have shown that the years during the child-rearing years are some of the most difficult. I get this myself. Being the parents of four children means we have little money and very little time for each other. We are spending this on band or that on supplies for fair entries for 4H. Oh, and then there’s drivers training coming up soon, which is a great deal of money too and no longer supplied by the local schools. Point is, a lot of resources and energy goes towards other things and it is often our relationships with our spouses that suffers the most. I am not giving you, as a married couple, an out or say that you should allow your relationship to become stagnant for the time frame in which your children live in your house. However, you need to be open minded and cognizant of how much time and effort you need to put into your relationship.
Another aspect that changes in a relationship is the way our bodies look. We may put on extra weight; we may go through traumatic events that affect how our bodies operate and look. You have to make the decision on how you are going to view the one you promised to “have and to hold”. Making the conscious decision to love someone through the difficult times, the morning breath and emotional highs and lows can be daunting, if not a test of your faith. You might look at your significant other sometimes and think, “nah, not today”, but be sure to pull yourself out of this mindset.
Those who have had long lasting marriages, things that I say here are probably nothing new. But I still wonder if you close your eyes when you lean in for a kiss? Do you still like to kiss your significant other or are you staying together because the logistics of leaving are too much to bear? Choosing every day, every moment how you view your marriage just might be the key to longevity and happiness in that longevity.
I have certainly had some beautiful highs with my husband. We have kissed romantically under the stars; made love like we might never see each other again and give each other a kiss while we’re in church. However, marital life has given us the lows that test your strength and I have been shocked at what I have endured being married to my husband, a man who has made me question why we were even together more times than I can count.
So, what’s the point of this post? I want you to stop and evaluate your relationships and don’t just do that alone but do it with your significant other too. Do you have goals that you want to achieve together? Do you need to come to terms with where your relationship is at, lack of date nights and the desire to fall asleep by 9 pm as opposed to one more romp in the bed? When you look across the room at your lover, do you consider them your lover still or are they just a fixture in the room, the husband or wife who didn’t put away the dishes?
DO something is the message of this post. Leaving your marriage to mere feelings of lust, desire, looks and stability is likely going to lead you to the courthouse.
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