For anyone who has ever dealt with low self-confidence, please hold on with me as I walk through the journey of explaining the title to this post.
If you were like me a few years ago, you constantly compared yourself to others. You wonder if you are good enough to do the job as a parent, daughter, wife and for me, therapist. I had terrible performance anxiety during my first in class intensive for my master’s degree. I compared myself to every single student in the room. When I wasn’t in the classroom, I tucked doubt and low self-worth into the back of my brain and allowed it to come out quite often.
Thankfully, I began to grow in my faith, which helped me immensely. My confidence began to grow and the self-doubt that I tucked into my brain became smaller and smaller. I was in therapy twice, which really helped me to identify areas of my life that I was struggling with. Being a boss at home helped even though taking care of my mother through her early journey with dementia was more than difficult. I began to see how strong I was, and I began to compare myself to other less and less.
I am not saying that my journey was easy and that I don’t have moments of doubt, but let’s finally throw the connection to the title in here. So, you compare yourself to others, others that you have no idea about. You tell yourself that she is more beautiful than me because her hair is perfectly coiffed or that he is smarter than me because he has the CEO position. We go through out lives comparing ourselves to others when we have no idea who or what we are really comparing ourselves to. Imagine you are comparing your smarts against one of the kids who benefited from the scandal mentioned above. You are comparing yourself to a lie. You are basing your own worth off of something that doesn’t exist.
Doesn’t this seem a little silly to you. You need to be you, the best version of your self that you could ever be. You know your own truth and your own journey to get to where you are and that has to be the measure by which you compare yourself. There were times when I sat in class and thought, “they are going to be much better counselors than me.” I actually had to thought stop and say to myself, “what are you saying, they are learning and in class just like you.”
You may not be from a rich family, you may not be attending an ivy league school, you may not get the best grades and score a high score on the SATs, but that does not mean that you do not have worth. For me, I know that God has a plan for me. I cannot lie that this is not a motivating factor for my life. I will be writing about “God’s Calling” later on this month, so please check that out if you are interested in how to be more faithful to God’s will. I am a boss lady because I have a divine calling for my life. That does not mean that you don’t have one for yours.
Please don’t compare yourself to others.
Please say to yourself on a daily basis, “I have worth”
When you begin to feel like you cannot accomplish a task, take a deep breath. Tell yourself, “one step at a time.”
If someone tells you that they don’t like your work, they don’t like your cooking, they don’t like “whatever” it is, tell yourself, “that’s okay, what can I learn from this?”
I mean it, “your life has purpose.” Did you see that, I said “your” life, I am not asking you to sit and make a list of “they have, and I don’t”. The scandal I mentioned above can teach us a lot about how to act as parents and how to act as human beings. Hard work and dedication should be the way you get to the top of whatever mountain you choose to climb. Remember this one thing if nothing else sticks, you could be comparing yourself to someone whose parents paid for them to get into school, or someone who cheated to get where they are. You be you.
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