Everybody Hurts, a great REM song for sure, but not much fun when you are the one who is hurting. When I say “letting go gracefully” I am not saying that “being graceful” will keep you from the hurt and pain of feeling loss, humiliation, anger or any other negative thing in your life. It does mean, however, that you can take control of your own reactions.
Know there are times when you are powerless
So, here I was a teenage girl, a desperate girl who wanted the attention of a boy. I met said boy at a restaurant and we started a flirtatious conversation. What ended up happening was humiliating, he took my shoe. Yup, took my shoe and left the restaurant with the intention of getting me to go to his home. See, this boy had likely intentions that this teenage girl was not ready for. Thankfully, I never found said boy’s apartment, but I do remember going home to find my mom only to cry in her arms. I am sure you can think of moments when you felt the sting of humiliation, rejection or loss and can imagine how I was feeling. I had no power at that moment, but I could find someone who wouldn’t judge me for what had happened.
What do you mean when you say “graceful”?
When I say, “let go gracefully” what I mean is this. There are people who come in and out of our lives. We have great times where we feel on top of the world and other times when the world seems to be on top of us and that is okay. Everything cannot turn out perfect for us all the time and we are going to find ourselves in some pretty ridiculous or hurtful situations as I mentioned above.
Just because bad things happen does not mean that you are not worthy of holding your head up high. Sure, you want to call and text that lover who was once your entire world. In fact, you could be up against the wall dealing with a cruel and sadistic person, but you can still hold your head high. Being graceful does not mean that we don’t fall apart and cry or get angry, but it does mean that we do not seek out revenge. Why begin to live a life where revenge gives us satisfaction or get stuck in a never-ending cycle of revenge. You may hit a row of terrible losses, but that doesn’t mean that you cannot make it out of the darkness without a sense of dignity. Fighting the urge to “make things right” can be overwhelming, even scream our name over and over again, but it is not our job to “make things right”. Call it a higher power, God, the universe or karma, we can move on with our lives knowing that we don’t have to handle getting revenge. If you have to, tell yourself out loud, “revenge is not mine.”
Be Ready to Learn Honest Things About Yourself
I understand that this is difficult to do. I might not be near as useful if everyone could easily move on. So, seek out help if you need to, that is what graceful people do. They acknowledge that they need help and seek it out. They understand that it is always darkest before the dawn. You will learn things about yourself that will further humiliate you, but on the flip side, you will be enlightened too. Talking to an impartial party can allow you to gain tools and insight you can continue to use throughout your life.
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