In honor of my son’s birthday, I thought I would take to the computer and jot down a few things about mothers and sons. Throughout “On the Wrong Foot”, you will see many different posts about fathers and daughters and how messing with a father’s little girl could prove detrimental for anyone who wrongs his daughters. What you may not know or perhaps you do if you are the mom of a son, is that mothers feel the same way about their sons.
The other day I was cleaning off the ceiling fan in my bedroom while my teenage son was talking and laughing with me. I remember looking at him as we were talking about girls and opposite genders having the ability to be friends without feelings getting into the mix. I casually said, “I will never like anyone that you bring home. I will always be kind because that is how I operate, but I will never believe anyone is good enough for you.” I meant this too. Sure, I will likely find some girls nice and funny and really good wife material, but there will always be a part of me that will believe that they will never be enough for my son.
Think of this, and for me and my situation, I carried my son for nine months. He was my first born, the child who made me a mommy. I held him close to my heart the moment he was born and if I close my eyes, I can still imagine the room he was born in and how it felt introducing myself to him. “Hello,” I remember saying, “I am your mommy.” I am in love with a little boy who has slowly and in front of my eyes been becoming a young man, and this breaks my heart. Sure, he drives me nuts with his teenage angst and the activities that get me driving here or there, but I love him. I am also thankful that my son still talks to me and seems to enjoy laughing and talking with his parents. There is something special about raising a boy that I am so glad I have been able to experience because my son Grey is a piece of me. He is smart, really really funny, handsome (so darn cute), stubborn and loves his mama (my favorite part).
A daughter depends on a mother even after she has moved out and I look forward to this with our three daughters. I told my son the other day that I hope he still comes around when he is older. I remember talking to my dear friend many years ago. At this time, Grey was still in his extremely cute phase where Star Wars was popular and Nerf guns ruled the wild west. We had a good laugh over the girls fawning over her son and the girls who cheered his name while he played sports. To those girls, he was the cute hunk who played basketball. To a mother, he was the one who wore superman underwear and ran to her with flowers from the yard. There is an undeniable truth that raising sons is an experience that words cannot fully express. When he is walking down the aisle to his new wife, I will probably see a little boy in a bear costume, walking with his bucket as he “trick or treats” around Fort Riley Army post. Should he have a broken heart and he will, my heart will also break. As a mother, I will see that same little boy crying as he rushes to my arms with a boo boo that needs a mother’s kiss.
Grey is strong, but there are some hurts that I know that I cannot take away even though I wish I could. I wish all the best for my boy, a little boy that I had no idea how much I would love. No matter what, I will be there to hang the banner to all your success and pick up the pieces to any of your broken hearts. I will challenge you and give you grace when you just feel like taking the day off.
Listen ladies, gal or little girls. My son means the world to me. I will probably look at you sideways and judge everything that you do when it comes to my son. I will try to be a good mother in law or let's not jump the gun, I will try to be a good "mother" when my son brings home a girl he is interested in or "dating". However, let me make myself clear. I will curse your name if you hurt my son even though I am a good Christian woman. I will probably want to turn your hair blue and step on your toes, but I will show you what a mother's love is all about by instead smiling warmly. I will try my best to be a good girl when we bring you up, but know that this mother is fierce and fiercely LOVES her son. As long as we have an understanding that I don't have to like you one bit, we'll be good.