It has been over 3 years since my mother came to live with us and I started down the journey to becoming a full-time caregiver. I wrote these items on my previous blog hosted site, but I think they are vital for anyone who has become the full-time caregiver of a parent. I had had a baby less than a year before she came to live with us in our already crowded house. Without further ado, “A Life Re-imagined”.
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So, on this day, our son's 12th birthday, I decide it was time to sit down and write. The last few months have defiantly been some of the most trying times that I have ever endured, and I was an Army wife who survived deployments.
There is a long list of things happening in our busy household that have claimed all of mine and my husband's attention. I am determined though, to foster something of my own. First, I want to write our love story as I believe it is not only beautiful, but inspirational as well. Second, I want to document the life of a busy wife, mom, graduate student, and daughter to a mother suffering from dementia. I want to inspire, I want to share our victories and failures, and I want to let folks know that there is always hope through the tough times.
What has been weighing on my mind lately, my children and my mother. My husband and I have been blessed with 4 beautiful children. Within the last few months, we have been transitioning my mother into our home (a 55-year-old woman struck with frontal temporal dementia). To say the least, we are filled to the brim with people. I won't get into detail where everyone is located within our home, but know that everyone has their space, and all of it is defiantly legal. Back to our 4 children who are: one 12-year-old son (happy birthday today!!!), and 3 daughters (girls age 9, 3, and 9.5 months). If our schedule wasn't filled up before with appointments, errands, and events, it is now with the addition of their grandmother. The point of this (I begin almost breaking into tears) is that these children have done quite well. Our oldest children (12 and 9) are not perfect, no. They have a lot to learn yet about diligently cleaning and working hard, but that will hopefully come by the time they are teenagers. What they do, help with their younger sisters. Our oldest daughter can scoop up her baby sister and sit with her like a little mama. She helps with changing diapers, feeding, and calming her sister when she is upset. They help clean up messes from their toddler sister who struggles with potty training (set on by a traumatic accident months earlier and her need to get attention). Our son, helps get his grandmother her drinks, wakes in the middle of the night when grandma cannot find her way to the bathroom, and makes sure that grandma washes her hands thoroughly after she lathers her hand with soap (as if putting on antibacterial cleaner).
These children do not fully understand yet, the heart that breaks inside their mother as their grandmother fails to wash her hands or puts her clothing on backwards. This has become the new normal for our children, and I thank them for giving what they do to this family. I thank the Lord that His hand guides this family and has wrapped His loving arms around our children. They are the light of my life.
To this new journey we set forth on...Only through the Lord can I begin to endure.
If you enjoy this post, please keep a look out for more like it as I go through a Dementia series. In the mean time, please check out the link below for another post.