After thirteen years of marriage, I thought that it might finally be time to send something back to the past. Let’s face it, after over a decade of marriage, you start to forget the person your spouse was long ago. Sometimes you may forget that he or she is a person that is not physically attached to you. There are times when I look at pictures of my husband, when he was in Korea (Army) and I swoon. I know during this time my husband was far from the man that I have become to know. He was a young soldier, rough, dedicated to having a good time and unattached. It seems like so long ago that he was far from the doting father of three daughters and one son, but nonetheless, the man in the photo is the same person who came back to find me. He is the one who turns to look at me and suddenly I have tunnel vision. I take a mental prayer break and thank God that I have him. Our life has not always been like this and there are still many times that we simply co-exist next to each other. The reality behind the romantic love story can be boring sometimes and messy at other times.
What’s the point? I laugh as I write this, thinking about the boy my husband was long ago. I think about the other’s he has been with, his girl friends or one-night stands. I have even seen pictures of these ladies while my husband sorted through parts of his past, which had been stored away in boxes. These momentous were like pieces of the past that were suspended in time: photos, letters even articles of clothing. I can’t lie, I feel a tinge of jealousy when I think of them in some physical form. Then I think about how many times I get to kiss him when he walks in the door or the times, I get the eye wink from across the room. I use this as a component to keep our love alive as we raise four children and stumble through the different trials in our life. Below are a few tips to keep the love alive in your marriage.
The simple thought of my husband reminds me that the father of four has needs and desires of his own. These thoughts remind me that although we share the same spirit and often breath in synchronicity, his breath is still his own. It’s amazing how we forget that we are two different people with desires and needs. Sometimes these are not met, but that doesn’t mean that we cannot take steps to maintain love and desire in a marriage.
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