tidbits and flavors
How do you do it when the world seems to be falling around you? How do you survive through life when there seems to be no way to relieve the pain? How many trials and tribulations are one person supposed to go through? I wish I had to answer to that question; the world would be such a better place for it. Sadly, I am not even sure how to explain how I have made it thus far in my own life. To simply say that I had a massive trust in God probably would not be the best way to answer the questions above nor would it explain the logistics of how someone makes it through difficult situations.
Listen, I went back and reread some of the things that I wrote when I was first married, and I am shaking my head at this young girl who fell so deep in love with a man who swept her off her feet. She was naive and so unsure of how to handle her emotions that she became locked inside herself. I was a young Army wife, awaiting her husband’s return from the Middle East. I had not had the chance to live with my husband much after we were married, so I knew little about him and his own emotional baggage. It was a little over a year after we were married, had a new baby and suddenly, he was gone in another country. I feel as if I should have known how all of this was going to go when I became a frantic woman, clinging to her husband as if he was a prize that someone was going to steal. I did not trust much of anything except for the fact that I was head over feet in love. I knew at that time, without him, I was a puddle of mush. Below are a few tips on how to “keep going” when the deck is stacked against you.
1. Find faith in something greater than yourself
I did not trust much of anything: my own emotions, my own worth or even God. I was always trying to fight for my husband’s attention, but did I turn towards something greater than myself? Nope. We cannot just simple trust something that we do not have a physical hold on, and I was certainly unable to hold on to my emotions, a nonexistent mass that flew on a regular basis. What is my point here? My point is this, I get that trusting in God can be difficult.
2. Create a passion for something
I decided that I was going to go to school for Psychology and become a counselor. Shew, what a long road that was going to be. When I went back to school to get my undergraduate degree in Psychology, I had no clue what a Christian school was going to do for my life. I originally went there because the military discount was off the charts amazing. I did not know how important it would be to create a life for myself.
3. Be honest with yourself about your own journey and your beliefs
After attending a Christian school for a while, something began to come alive in me. I am not saying that suddenly when my faith was renewed that everything began to fall into place. Let’s see, we separated from the Army and returned home, selling our house and basically paying someone else to take it, my husband and I fought a lot, my husband went away to school in Arizona, I worked at a terrible factory, my mom was diagnosed with dementia, I was in a terrible car accident, my husband’s an alcoholic with anger issues who was terribly mean on numerous occasions and so many other things. Trust is not always easy.
4. Ask your questions, but also seek out answers.
Why does God allow things to happen? Why is God not watching out for me? These are all valid questions an does not mean you are a bad person for asking them, but you must be ready to do the work to find answers. Seek out a therapist, pastor, Bible, other healers or go to the library to read other literature. You cannot just ask questions and expect answers to fall into your lap.
5. Keep going.
You say, “I have been praying, I have been faithful, I have been to a therapist, I have taken my medication, I have filled out those forms, I have got up every single morning when all I wanted to do was sleep the day away. I have followed those rules, I have put down the drugs, I have begun to read my Bible, I went to a Christian School to become a mental health counselor and I am STILL fighting to make it through the day”
Did I catch you there yet? Listen, I do not have all the answers as to why all the bad things seem to be happening to you at once. I wish that I did. I wish that I had the answer as to how you can find a job after you get out of jail or how you can finally get out of jail after those awful charges were brought against you. I wish I could lift you up and make you feel better as you drudge through your journey, wishing and hoping and praying that things would finally fall into place. Keep going, head held high.
I have a relationship with Jesus Christ that I wish I could put into words, but most days I am gob smacked as to how I have made it through this life and why I could not have been a stronger believer earlier on in my life. Time has helped, I can assure you of that. I know that the purpose is to keep going even when all the walls keep building up around you. I am not saying that you do not deserve to cry or feel weak. There are times when all you can do is cry or days when anger wells up inside or days when you feel like if you have one more failure, you’re going to die. Keep going.
“But it hurts”.
“I know, but feel it, take it in, breath it into your body. Fight. You are not done.”
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