tidbits and flavors
What does it mean to be a lady? Does it take fancy clothing, beautiful jewelry, a high-class name from a prominent family or does it mean that you actually have to come from royalty? Good news, it does not take any of the aforementioned things to be a lady. A real lady can come from a poor background, a rich family or can even have had a terrible and sad past. It does not matter what a lady used to be, but what she is and how she lives her life in the present.
2. Extends Grace
Perhaps because of her own history, a real lady extends grace to those who have wronged her, others who seem to be having a bad day, and even to herself. She knows that everyone has a story and reason for why and how they behave. She seeks to release grudges because she knows that she is not perfect herself.
3. Is Educated
A lady is educated, and I am not talking about having earned education with a degree, but a lady takes the advantage to learn when she can. She knows that there is more knowledge to always be gained and seeks to know what is going on around her (state, country or even the world).
4. Takes Care of Her family A lady takes care of her family, which includes not only her husband and children, but other family members as well. This does not mean you have to take your parent in when he/she is diagnosed with dementia, but it does mean that you remain present through the decisions. You know that honoring your mother and father does not mean you give into every demand they have; it means that you pray and contemplate outcomes. When your family needs you, you are there to meet their well-being as long as you have made sure your well-being is good first.
5. Listens Before Speaking
Okay, so a lady wants to help others, and this is great, amazingly great. You want to help people for the shear desire to lift someone up and not for your own gain. Pause here for a moment and let me have your full attention. Ladies listen to others before seeking to find a solution. As a therapist, one of our greatest friends becomes our ears and our ability to keep our mind quiet. It can be difficult because everyone wants to have the right answer, to cure cancer or help someone off the ledge. Yet, we must listen first to actually hear the person or company we are speaking to. What if they biggest way you’re helping is just simply to listen? Think about that for a moment.
6. Admit When They Need Help
So, I admit that I am REALLY bad at this one. I do not like to ask for help and I try not to share my downfalls with very many people. I have a difficulty getting close to people and wonder what their motives truly are. However, I have learned to be honest about what I am feeling and if I am struggling. I do not put on the brave face all the time and allow myself to take in a hug from a loved one or ask for some down time to refresh myself.
7. Does Not Curse or Use Vulgar Language
So, there have been studies that woman and men who curse actually have higher IQs. I am not sure where that study is or where it came from, but for this sake here, a lady does not curse or use vulgar language. Notice, I didn’t say ever. It can happen. A slip of the tongue or a private moment with loved ones can allow for a little sailor speech now and again, but don’t make it a regular habit. No one likes to hear the “F” bomb thrown around all the time…I hope.
8. Does Not Gossip
First and foremost, this is rude and very mean. Ask yourself, “who am I building up” before you start talking about the neighbor whose husband came home late and then you notice that she is not wearing her wedding ring when you saw her at the grocery store. How would you like someone talking about you and speculating about you? Now, I am not talking about catching up on life, but knowingly talking about someone else to make yourself feel better is not lady like at all nor should it be form of entertainment.
9. Has A Sense of Humor
Okay, so I am not saying that a lady has to be funny and slam at a comedy open mic night, but what I mean here is that a lady can laugh at herself. She values a good, clean joke and does not take everything personal. She knows that she is not everyone’s favorite and that things do not go perfect all the time, and she can laugh it off to begin another day.
10. Is Confident, but Still can be Nervous
A lady knows her worth and is confident in her abilities, but that doesn’t mean that every now and again she doesn’t get nervous. Putting on a party for her child or speaking in public can cause little butterflies, and that is okay. A lady knows how to take this nervousness and hone it, allowing her to be humbled and proud.
11. Has Simple and Seemingly “Old-Fashioned” Manners
Okay, so I list these things here because they are important. Common courtesy and common sense does not seem all to common anymore and that is ridiculous. As the author of "Good Manners: A Manual of Etiquette in Good Society" high lights that if you treat others as you would like to be treated then manners, etiquette and common courtesy should never be an issue. This was published in the mid-19th century, but can be a useful manual now, you just have to tweak a few things like how many different outfits one wears throughout the day. Some other manners that make a lady includes not speaking over someone or finishing someone else's sentences. A lady does not put her elbows on the table, sit in a dress without their legs crossed, and by all means, ladies do not speak with food in their mouth. Ick, that last one is just gross. A lady uses "please", "thank you" as well as "no/yes thank you" and "you’re welcome". A lady knows that she should be respectful of her surroundings and other people’s property. If you are wrong, admit you are wrong and apologize. When someone lets you go first through the door, acknowledge this because what a lady knows most of all, is that no one owes them anything.
If you like this post, please check out the link below. Also, check out the "Good Manners Manual" from 1870's for a good read. A lot of the book is funny because they are old customs and manners, but a lot of what is in the book can be useful for today's society.
By golly, people without manners really burst my bubble.