Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Things I have learned: And I am Still a baby

I suppose I should wait until our actual ten year anniversary in ten days, but I sorta cannot help myself. I am in awe that we have already lived ten years together, and have experienced all that we have in that time frame. There have been times in our marriage that I stopped, looked to the sky and begged God to explain to me what was going on. We have endured 2 deployments, 1 long distance (1.5 years) relationship in states, 4 children (1 very unexpected), my schooling and his schooling, a parent with dementia, alcoholism, reintegration, a diagnosis of PTSD, and we're not done yet. I have certainly learned that I am not in control of this life, but I have learned that I am a person who should be honored, validated, and loved no matter what my flaws may be. When I say that we began from a whirlwind romance, I am not being melodramatic.

The story that brought us together is one of the most beautiful that I have ever heard. This did not stop the constant pain that was thrown between two individuals. Marriage is work at times, most times in fact, I cannot lie one bit about that. We have been two of the most ugly individuals, but I had known from the start that I never wanted to be on the opposite side of my husband. Sure, there were times when I asked myself why a man who had loved me since high school would behave in such an atrocious manner. He, himself, cannot explain the reason for this, but a constant battle with alcohol did not help. Point is, marriage can kick your rear end, but it is also one of the most reward institutions that I have had the privilege of being in. I know my husband more than anyone else on this earth. I can finish his sentences, and most of the time, when I am thinking it, he says it. We have endured heartache and pain together, but have also experienced the joy of family together. I truly look forward to spending the rest of my life with him, and wish every person was able to have the love that we share with each other.

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