So I have learned that being a wife and mother does not mean that you have to make a complete sacrifice of yourself. We often think, as Christian wives and mothers that there must be some sort of give and give as opposed to give and take. We think that we are being virtuous Christian individuals if we go without one moment to think of ourselves. Add being a stay-at-home mother or working mother to the equation and things really being to get questionable.
Quite often wives will put their husband’s on a pedestal. For myself, my husband was not only the provider but at one point throughout our marriage, a soldier too. What could be more honorable that that? How was I going to possibly compete with that as a stay-at-home mother of two to our “American hero”? Little did I know that I was already doing so. What I find as noble is not what other mothers and wives will find noble. Truth be told, each of us as women need to find worth in ourselves.
I, to this day, despise the term “housewife” because it lacks the very definition of what I believe myself to be. I am smart and funny. I speak with a vast vocabulary; currently have a bachelor’s degree in Psychology and the admissions to graduate school accepted. I know how to find just about anything for my family when they themselves cannot, cook like a top chef and love my husband and children with every fiber of my being.
There are many layers to the woman that I am. The Lord has given me these gifts to share and to remember the value of who I am and what I do.
A wise friend once told me, the argument to who works harder or who earns more free time away from the family is a no win battle. Spouses need to remember to keep the lines of communication open about everything and anything. This does not mean that we will always understand or agree with what our spouses say, do or believe. There are a few things that I do not believe my husband understands about my desire for certain things, but it is very important that I understand the importance. How is one to be better at anything when one does cultivate themselves? This is not to say that reality does enter the picture. As parents and spouses there are going to be times of sacrifice; we simply cannot do whatever we want because it makes us feel good. However, if we do not stop to take care of ourselves then how are we to find the time to honor God? How are we to be well rested and ready to take on another day? Being a Christian does not mean we give up on everything, it means we truly get to experience everything at a whole new level.