Monday, October 28, 2013

Even the Good Feel Guilt

So, I would like to consider myself to be a good parent. Sometimes I even consider myself a great parent, especially when I run myself ragged running to and fro between various activities of my children. I just spent hours of my time on two separate days to bring my son to scout camp, so he could have a great time. So then why do I feel so guilty quite often and feel immense self doubt when it comes to my children? Maybe this too is a reflection of how I am as a parent, I care. Often times parents could not careless about their children's activities, grades or how they speak, act and talk to others. This blows me away, I could not imagine caring less about my children's well being.

The latest to date is our infant daughter and her ability or "lack of desire" to be on her tummy at 7 months. I begin to worry, even though this is not my first rodeo and I know each child is unique in their development. After all, our son walked at 8 months while our eldest daughter didn't walk until 11.5 months. I rationalize up and down, reminding myself that she is smart and list the developmental milestones she has already met. So, why do I still feel guilty, as if I am letting her down? Why do I spend time on my smart phone searching for "why does my baby not like being on her tummy" only to find information on the importance of tummy time, which makes me feel guiltier? See, this is what I mean. Good parents, I suppose, beat themselves up over their children's misfortune.We take our time to research as much information as we can to better our children, to take the extra time with homework and reading, and spend more time bugging teachers when we see our children struggling. Parenthood is a daily activity that does not allow rest for the weary. I think I have learned that it's okay to feel bad, but not to dwell on it. I have learned it's okay to pat myself on the back, but not to let my ego get to big that it affects my children's overall well-being. And sometimes it's okay to not like the job at all and to admit it, own it and work through it. For me, family life rounds out who I am. I do not let one thing define my life even though my family is my life.

Time to Digress...

Truth is, some parents can be labeled "great" parents and some can be labeled "horrible" parents and we should be careful not to judge lest we be judged ourselves. Some children really are difficult, some extremely gifted, some misunderstood but all are just children who need us. I am talking about parents who day in and day out set an example for their children, who are there when their children are sick or who run to and fro between various activities just to put a smile on their child's face. I am talking about parents who want better for their children than what they had. I am talking about parent's who realize that their actions or lack of, affect their children. These are the parents that I give a break to, but don't think I do no know that no one is perfect.

Any opinions out there....???

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