Sunday, November 23, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Upon speaking to my husband, the few times I was able to, I told him to stop procrastinating and just come home already that this "extended" vacation has indeed extended itself far too long. He told me, "you know, every time I talk to you, you tell me that." and so I reply, "yes, well, every time I mean it." Ah, my sweet pain in the butt husband!!! I cannot wait to be with you my love.
I cannot wait until I am able to sleep again. Oh, I've taken that daily part of life for granted and I so desire to have it back in tack. It's one in the morning and I can't seem to lie my head down...I can't seem to go to the bedroom either. I'm between watching another rerun of Golden Girls or doing homework, which at this moment neither sound real tempting. Now, I am going between writing this little snippet to searching the internet for anything that will keep my attention. It's in vain of course, I'm just stalling before I finally realize I should indeed GO TO BED. Sigh*
I'm so excited!!!! There's going to be a lot of joy floating around in this house real soon. :) Oh, I cannot wait (though the reality of it is, I have no choice:)~
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
1. Moving is part of the job. As in, you go when it's your time to go, but think of the experiences, being in a new places. I have experienced such freedom, such trust in myself being in a home away from our true "home"
2. Utter pride. Many women and men have pride in their spouses, but there is this pride that swells in my heart when I think of my husband's duty. Sometimes I feel inadequate next to him, but then I know in my heart that our children need me like our country needs my husband.
3. Trust. Not all spouses can say they trust their husband or wife from the very depths of their soul. We have been apart through deployments and through other events in our lives, but there is this trust that we have garnered with each other. I pray that spouses can have the trust within their marriage as my husband and I have in each other. (we all know many other miltary spouses aren't as lucky and experience the exact opposite, but stick with me here)
4. Learning. There has been nothing but learning through this relationship with my husband. I've learned about us as a couple, and I've learned about the woman I am. I am a strong, smart, beautiful, and a devoted woman. I am a great mother who has love beyond borders for her children and a wife who will wait up nights, even if it means she can hear from her husband for but a moment.
5. Strength. I have learned, there's that word again, that I have strength I never knew I had. I can take care of things, I can step up and deal with what life had brought me, what life has generously given me.
6. Education. I took some time for myself to further my own education. And walla, I'll be graduating a month after my husband returns from deployment. One day, he will not have all the stress of finding employment on his shoulders alone. I will take care of my husband one day...and buy him another motorcycle (yes, two motorcycles will never hurt) . (P.S. I also took up learning how to ride the motorcycle my husband bought as a going away gift...okay, so it's not technically a going away present, but I still tease him nonetheless. The point is, finding something for yourself through all the chaos)
7. We have been chosen for something greater than ourselves. God has looked down at us, and yes, I truly believe in God's will, and has noted that we will care out great tasks. Someone else may call it what they like, but I am no fool, I know there is a higher power, choosing us to experience a part of life very few get the privilege to experience (the pride, the joy, the sadness, the learning, the love, the trust, and the opprotunites that come if only you release long enough to recieve.)
Don't get me wrong, life with the military can be hard, but before you think it's all horrible, just remember there are positives to everything as well. Sure, my heart aches when I crawl into bed alone each night, but we will be together again real soon. My heart aches at the though of our children without daddy for Christmas or their birthdays, but we have love and we as a family will prevail. Of course, if this was the start of the deployment I'd be singing in another tone (I know better to be honest). But that's the joy of life's journey. Just because you start off one way, doesn't mean you have to end the same way.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Saturday, November 1, 2008
with health problems the last few months, a turn that very few expected. I suppose with my lack of being with my family other than once in the pass year shouldn't deem me justified to mourn, but I am. She was so healthy the last time that I saw her, and I suppose what gets to me the most is that my husband has never met the great majority of my family, being that I tried to give him all the time I could with his. What I remember the most of Aunt Pat is hearing from my mother how she had been in the delivery room when I was born. At a young age my aunt was stricken with cancer and unable to have children naturally. That didn't stop God from blessing her with a family though. I remember a birthday card from a few years back, reminding me of the fact that she had been there when I was born. It's special to me as it is a memory of her. I'm so bummed ( for lack of a better word), so seriously bummed that I hadn't taken more time to be with my family. The picture from above was at my Uncle Gene's funeral. I spoke with Aunt Pat, as I wanted very much to be seen by my family...want to feel a sense of belonging to my roots. I can't believe I only have a picture of her back, but then, how representative it is of her passing. She's walking away, going up to Heaven.
Uncle Dave, I send all my prayers to you as you battle this and the other hardships and to the rest of the family, I send all my love via the air tonight. I miss you all.