Okay, so the title is not original nor is it from my brain, but nonetheless, it is true. I am supposed to be sleeping, snuggled into bed, laying peacefully in the cotton sheets that I will soon be sharing with my husband. It seems to be the norm these days, or the last 300 or so days since my husband has been away, no sleep until the sunlight starts filtering in through the window. By that time, I am dreaming (most good days), but it is not to last as my son pops into the room, all cheerful and ready to greet the day at seven in the morning.
I continue with no more complaints, even though this time around during deployment, I had plenty to complain about. I was watching an episode of Real Americans, which is hosted by Glenn Beck. I wasn't all to familiar with him before sitting down to watch his show earlier this evening, but tonight I was drawn, yet again, to the conclusion that my life is wonderful. He was speaking to an Army Sgt. who had been injured during combat and Mr. Beck spoke to the Sgt. wife with such respect, he spoke to both with such truthfulness and respect, that it brought my heart a flight. And at one point he looked to the Sgt.'s wife and gave her thanks, a true thanks that many military spouses never get. He asked her if there was one piece of information that she could give a wife/husband that was starting out in the journey of being a "military spouse" and she said "stick by, it's worth it". How right she is. How absolutely right she is. I'll be celebrating the birth of our nation with our two children and their grandparents, watching fireworks and singing "America the Beautiful" all while thinking of how my husband's night of sleep is going hundred's of miles away, but through this hardship, through this up hill struggle, I have become this woman I never imagined I would become. I have blossomed into a pillar of strength for my children. I am not here praising myself, but God will not give you more than you can handle and I've had my share of "Oh God really". I cannot speak of utter perfection nor do I deem myself the humblest of all people, but through these last few months, I have truly become happy. I am no where near being happy that my husband is away from me, but look at what we're accomplishing. We've been given an opportunity to learn from this experience...we've been given an opportunity to communicate on levels many married folks will never get, and I've been given this chance to really understand my husband more.
Michael, I am so proud of you. Not just for the service for our homeland, but because you are a real man among impostors. You are my teacher and my best friend. You humble me and build me up to heights unimaginable. You have shown me ways of looking at life that without your tender insight, I would have never been able to see. Many folks will never know exactly what I am talking about with you. They all see that you're a great guy, with your flaws, and they would be right, but they will never look upon you as I do. God has blessed me tenfold. I fear now that my life is so perfect, what could ever match it, but in Heaven, I know that my joy will only increase. Imagine it, how happy we are together with our family on earth, how joyous it will be in Heaven.
So let me say this in full honesty. Life is what you make it. Life is hard, and sometimes a struggle that pushes against you like a storm raging in the sea, but if you choose to make it, you will. Life doesn't have to be led alone, but if you find that your journey is a lonesome path, I swear to you, there is always someone watching out for you. I must say, that I have not lessened my faith, but I am letting it too blossom. "Stick it out" for the truth is "it will be worth it", but it's not all in our time.