Thursday, May 29, 2008
Note in photo included...she can even match her shoes to match her dress. The bandana is something she pulled out an wanted on her head.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
1. As soon as you find out her husband is deployed make it a point to tell her exactly how you feel about the war and how WE shouldn't be over there.
2. Follow that up by asking her how she feels about the president.
3. Look surprised and say, "I don't know how you do it. I could never LET my husband do that."
4. If she's pregnant be sure to ask if the military is going to send her husband home for the birth.
5. Tell her she should really consider getting additional life insurance since her husband has a good chance of getting killed.
6. Remind her how lucky she is that her husband gets all that tax free money while he's deployed.
7. Try to relate to her by saying you know just how she feels because your husband was out of town on business for a week last month.
8. Ask her how she can be faithful for 15 months and is she worries about her husband cheating on her.
9. Inquire to whether or not her husband has killed anyone.
10. Be sure to ask her when her husband comes home if he's done with the military of if he has to go back.
Again, there were on a t-shirt I came across. Thought it'd be funny to post. I haven't heard every comment on the list, but I have heard a few. I'd like to add one myself.
11. Be sure to keep making mention of how you'd never be able to survive being separated that long and that you don't know how she does it. Repeat this five times in a row, just in case you don't feel that she's fully understood what you've said. And if there is a need, get really close to her and rest your hand on her shoulder.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
I was unable to get sleep last night. Was thinking about my children and how much I love them. Before having children, I wasn't much for kids. I didnt' understand them much and was too young to care to try. Then I was pregnant with my son...and when he entered the world and I was a mother for the first time, I was in love. I didn't think I could love another child like him, but then I gave birth to my daughter, and I was falling in love all over again. This miracle or motherhood is amazing to me. While my husband is away I have been both mother and father, realizing that I could never replace the real father in their lives. However, I have become to love motherhood all the more. I take pride in knowing that I am the one who tends to their cries, who deals with them when they're misbave (though frustrating it can be), I'm the one who reads to them, furthering their knowledge, I'm the one who makes sure they get food in their tiny tummies, and I'm the one who loves them like no one every could. I make no excuses for that last statement because being a mother is what I truely love. Though there are times I wanna bang my head against the wall or run like a mad woman in the streets because it all seems to much, but I am the one who's allowed to complain because complain or not, I will always love them. I could never leave them, I could never not be their mother, and by God, I could never imagine my life without their laughter. I remember what my mother once told me, "you may not have a perfectly clean house, but what's more important, spending time with your children or a clean house?" I know the answer to that questions now, memories will carry with them into adulthood, and I want them to remember that mom always loved them.
And to my mommy...thank you, for always being there even when you might have wanted to run screaming down the street. I love you, and I remember every wondeful thing you did for me.
I picture our son now, holding up his hand to reach me, wanting me to touch him. I love it, the look of wanting in his eyes. He’s the most beautiful gift I have ever been given. I think to the future when I’ll be old and weak. He’ll be strong then, stronger than me and I wonder if he’ll feel the same when I hold out my hand to touch him, wanting to feel him near. For now I watch him sleep, when I leave the room I say it, I tell no one that I love him so much. It hurts; I never thought it could hurt so much, to love another human being. The inability to get enough of him is overwhelming at times. It’s not enough; sometimes it’s not enough. I love him, dear God, I love him.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Although previous studies of emotional responding have found that women are more emotionally expressive than men, it remains unclear whether men and women differ in other domains of emotional response. We assessed the expressive, experiential, and physiological emotional responses of men and women in 2 studies. In Study 1, undergraduates viewed emotional films. Compared with men, women were more expressive, did not differ in reports of experienced emotion, and demonstrated different patterns of skin conductance responding. In Study 2, undergraduate men and women viewed emotional films and completed self-report scales of expressivity, gender role characteristics, and family expressiveness. Results replicated those from Study 1, and gender role characteristics and family expressiveness moderated the relationship between sex and expressivity.
Kring and Gordon found that women were more emotionally expressive than men. In response to happy films, women displayed more positive expressions. This finding is consistent with numerous other studies showing that women more freely express emotions such as fear, disgust, sadness, surprise and happiness.
They also found that men and women did not differ in their self-reports of experiencing emotions of happiness, sadness or fear during the film clips they watched. However, in terms of bodily arousal, men were more physiologically reactive than women were to the film clips eliciting fear. The two sexes did not differ in their physiological reactivity to happy or sad film clips. The findings suggest that men and women do not differ in the experience of emotions, but they do differ in the expression of emotions.
In conclusion, despite the fact that women perceive themselves as being more emotionally intense than men, men and women do not differ in their experiences of emotions. Women are more emotionally expressive than men, whereas men mask their emotions more than women do.
John Gottman: “Men Women and Conflict: Bridging the Gender Gap”
Flooding (feeling overwhelmed by your own emotions—feeling upset and out of control, experiencing high levels of physiological arousal, as heart rate and blood pressure skyrocketing)—men are more likely to become flooded during a disagreement, resulting in a high level of physiological arousal, then men and unable to listen to their partners’ views. then they go into the stonewalling mode(withdrawing emotionally in order to contain their emotions) and refusing to talk or discuss situations. However, women also “flood” emotionally, especially in reaction to a partner’s Stonewalling, then a vicious cycle begins.
Breaking the Vicious Circle of Flooding-Stonewalling-Flooding
To you I stay true, for there is nothing else I want to do