Thursday, May 29, 2008

Back Yard

The best part of the house, which my husband picked out without me, is the backyard. I love being outside with my family, sitting at the table on our patio, watching the kids run around happily, knowing they are safe within our fence and we don't have to chase them. Within the last few months a swing set has been added with the help of our friend's and neighbors. We've had some flowers blooming and I couldn't help but show them off. I love the little house my husband picked out!!!

A Little Princess and Her Shoe Fetish

In the time span that I've been a mother, I have become aware of the difference between boys and girls. My son, from the start, was interested in either unisex toys and games or outright boy toys, his favorite toy from the start was a ball. Nowadays, he crawls around the house with his Hot Wheels, often making a reving engine noise a bit too loud for the comfort of my ears. Now, I must admit, our daughter follows suit, stealing her brother's toys quit often. It's a neverending battle, the battle of the toys where no one every truely will win the war. However, our little princess, the little angel that she is, has a fetish...a shoe fetish. I don't know how many times I can place the household's shoes by our back door where they belong. I find shoes in the toy box, I find shoes in the middle of the floor, I find shoes in shoes, and by golly, if she could, she'd take shoes to bed. When she's really lucky, she'll sneak into my room right behind me as I put laundry away and start taking out my shoes from my closet. And it doesn't matter who's shoes they are, her brother's, her grandma's, or even grandpa's; she'll wear them all just the same, scooting around the house. And don't expect to take them off her feet and find that she's honky dory. Oh no, she'll whine until you put them right back on her little, skinny feet. Now I gather that girls are supposed to be into shoes, but really, at age one? Is she supposed to make it so difficult to find just one pair of shoes to put on her feet before heading out for the day? One things for sure, it gives me a laugh, thinking of her father and his reaction when he comes home, seeing his little girl on a fake cell phone, wearing her mommy's high heeled shoes. I'm sure it will go great with her baby blue angel eyes, and the way she works her magic over people, especially when she knows she's in trouble.

Note in photo included...she can even match her shoes to match her dress. The bandana is something she pulled out an wanted on her head.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Good Night My Love

Good night my love, I am off to bed. I am not sure when this time I will get to sleep. I have children to tend to in the morning, but that doesn't bring slumber any faster. I am off to our room, with our pictures, our dresser, and that bed we bought on our wedding day. I am off to curl up on your side of the bed and snuggle down to the air around me. I am going to dream about the day I will see you again, be held by you again, and at long last, be in the same time zone as you again.

Yes, good night my love, I wish you were here. I wish I was helping you place out your clothes for the next day of work. I wish you were there in the morning, kissing me good-bye before you drive off for another long day. Yet, for now, I will go brush my teeth alone without you standing beside me, making funny faces in the mirror at me. For now, I will wear your t-shirts to bed, so as to find some way to feel near you again.

On this spring night, I leave you with this virtual kiss. I will dream of the day where before drifting off to slumber I give you a kiss and say "good night, I love you."

I love you Michael.

A Little Funny...a t-shirt I came across

Ten Ways To Annoy an Army Wife

1. As soon as you find out her husband is deployed make it a point to tell her exactly how you feel about the war and how WE shouldn't be over there.

2. Follow that up by asking her how she feels about the president.

3. Look surprised and say, "I don't know how you do it. I could never LET my husband do that."

4. If she's pregnant be sure to ask if the military is going to send her husband home for the birth.

5. Tell her she should really consider getting additional life insurance since her husband has a good chance of getting killed.

6. Remind her how lucky she is that her husband gets all that tax free money while he's deployed.

7. Try to relate to her by saying you know just how she feels because your husband was out of town on business for a week last month.

8. Ask her how she can be faithful for 15 months and is she worries about her husband cheating on her.

9. Inquire to whether or not her husband has killed anyone.

10. Be sure to ask her when her husband comes home if he's done with the military of if he has to go back.

Again, there were on a t-shirt I came across. Thought it'd be funny to post. I haven't heard every comment on the list, but I have heard a few. I'd like to add one myself.

11. Be sure to keep making mention of how you'd never be able to survive being separated that long and that you don't know how she does it. Repeat this five times in a row, just in case you don't feel that she's fully understood what you've said. And if there is a need, get really close to her and rest your hand on her shoulder.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

To Be A Mother :)

I was unable to get sleep last night. Was thinking about my children and how much I love them. Before having children, I wasn't much for kids. I didnt' understand them much and was too young to care to try. Then I was pregnant with my son...and when he entered the world and I was a mother for the first time, I was in love. I didn't think I could love another child like him, but then I gave birth to my daughter, and I was falling in love all over again. This miracle or motherhood is amazing to me. While my husband is away I have been both mother and father, realizing that I could never replace the real father in their lives. However, I have become to love motherhood all the more. I take pride in knowing that I am the one who tends to their cries, who deals with them when they're misbave (though frustrating it can be), I'm the one who reads to them, furthering their knowledge, I'm the one who makes sure they get food in their tiny tummies, and I'm the one who loves them like no one every could. I make no excuses for that last statement because being a mother is what I truely love. Though there are times I wanna bang my head against the wall or run like a mad woman in the streets because it all seems to much, but I am the one who's allowed to complain because complain or not, I will always love them. I could never leave them, I could never not be their mother, and by God, I could never imagine my life without their laughter. I remember what my mother once told me, "you may not have a perfectly clean house, but what's more important, spending time with your children or a clean house?" I know the answer to that questions now, memories will carry with them into adulthood, and I want them to remember that mom always loved them.

And to my mommy...thank you, for always being there even when you might have wanted to run screaming down the street. I love you, and I remember every wondeful thing you did for me.

I picture our son now, holding up his hand to reach me, wanting me to touch him. I love it, the look of wanting in his eyes. He’s the most beautiful gift I have ever been given. I think to the future when I’ll be old and weak. He’ll be strong then, stronger than me and I wonder if he’ll feel the same when I hold out my hand to touch him, wanting to feel him near. For now I watch him sleep, when I leave the room I say it, I tell no one that I love him so much. It hurts; I never thought it could hurt so much, to love another human being. The inability to get enough of him is overwhelming at times. It’s not enough; sometimes it’s not enough. I love him, dear God, I love him.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Happy Memorial Day!

Thank you to all the soldiers that have come before and the soldiers that are today. In my life, I will never forget.

Fighting To Understand : Interesting Emotional Facts

This information is totally not from my own brain. I found it during my Intro. Psychology class and wanted to pass it along.

Kring & Gordon
Although previous studies of emotional responding have found that women are more emotionally expressive than men, it remains unclear whether men and women differ in other domains of emotional response. We assessed the expressive, experiential, and physiological emotional responses of men and women in 2 studies. In Study 1, undergraduates viewed emotional films. Compared with men, women were more expressive, did not differ in reports of experienced emotion, and demonstrated different patterns of skin conductance responding. In Study 2, undergraduate men and women viewed emotional films and completed self-report scales of expressivity, gender role characteristics, and family expressiveness. Results replicated those from Study 1, and gender role characteristics and family expressiveness moderated the relationship between sex and expressivity.

Kring and Gordon found that women were more emotionally expressive than men. In response to happy films, women displayed more positive expressions. This finding is consistent with numerous other studies showing that women more freely express emotions such as fear, disgust, sadness, surprise and happiness.

They also found that men and women did not differ in their self-reports of experiencing emotions of happiness, sadness or fear during the film clips they watched. However, in terms of bodily arousal, men were more physiologically reactive than women were to the film clips eliciting fear. The two sexes did not differ in their physiological reactivity to happy or sad film clips. The findings suggest that men and women do not differ in the experience of emotions, but they do differ in the expression of emotions.

In conclusion, despite the fact that women perceive themselves as being more emotionally intense than men, men and women do not differ in their experiences of emotions. Women are more emotionally expressive than men, whereas men mask their emotions more than women do.

John Gottman: “Men Women and Conflict: Bridging the Gender Gap”

Flooding (feeling overwhelmed by your own emotions—feeling upset and out of control, experiencing high levels of physiological arousal, as heart rate and blood pressure skyrocketing)—men are more likely to become flooded during a disagreement, resulting in a high level of physiological arousal, then men and unable to listen to their partners’ views. then they go into the stonewalling mode(withdrawing emotionally in order to contain their emotions) and refusing to talk or discuss situations. However, women also “flood” emotionally, especially in reaction to a partner’s Stonewalling, then a vicious cycle begins.

Breaking the Vicious Circle of Flooding-Stonewalling-Flooding

Be aware of Gender differences—For men, stonewalling is a protective strategy. It represents an attempt to contain disturbing emotions before they become overwhelming and out of control. When women look at men’s stonewalling in these terms they’re less likely to interpret it as rejection and as a refusal to try to resolve differences. Rather than abruptly stonewalling and withdrawing, men need to explain their withdrawal, as “I need to be alone for awhile so I can calm down, then I will talk to you about this.” Women need to accept men’s need to temporarily withdraw from the situation.

Call a time out whenever either partner begins to feel overwhelmed on in danger of flooding. Take a 20-30 minute break from the conflict so each partner can regain his/her emotional balance and then return to the discussion.

Focus on Constructive Thoughts. Rather than rehearsing hateful or vengeful comments, use time out to focus on calming yourself and thinking positive thoughts about your partner. Think of ways to resolve the conflict, not ways to mount a counterattack!

Resolve the problem together. Men need to make a conscious effort to discuss and solve the problem at hand, rather than avoid it. Sidestepping a problem won’t make it go away, so try to solve the problem together.

Keep the Focus on Maintaining the Relationship. Although women should not avoid raising issues that are in need of resolution, they should try to do it calmly, avoiding personal attacks. Issues should be framed in the context of maintaining a loving relationship, not determining who is “right”.

On a Totally different Note...the other Military Wife

If there is one thing that I have learned, is that there a two different military wives. There is the ever devoted wife, such as myself, who never lets the thought of lying enter her mind. There isn't a moment that goes by that I don't think of my husband. There isn't a moment that goes by where I don't make a list or print off recipes of things I know he'd like me to cook for him. I dress in sweats most days, stay at home to take care of our children, do college work, and/or clean house...and the last thing I desire is the attention of another man. Though I crave my husband's touch and long for the time when we'll be able to sleep in the same bed...shhh...other things I crave as well ;) I can survive until the day he will be the one touching me again. I am devoted to my husband, I respect the vows I made, for better or for worse means something to me, to us. However, there is the other military wife, for which I am not to be confused with. I cannot make mention of the wives I have heard of nor the amount of future divorced soldiers walking around my husband, which rarely, but so slightly creep their stories into my husband's brain. I speak to you, the wife who dares resort to cowardly behavior, asking for a divorce while your husband is serving their country. I speak to you, the wife who sleeps around on her husband without a thought to the piercing sadness it will cause in another human being. I speak to the wives that dare bring down my name or the names of other devoted military wife who stand by tirelessly while their husband's do their jobs. I cannot begin to express the utter disgust I have for someone who would bring another man around their children, so effortlessly that it's like bringing in a clean pair of underwear off the line. I stand proud, knowing that I have been there, that I am helping to make a difference in the world by supporting my husband, giving him reasons to smile. I am a great wife, and I smile everyday and sleep with a light heart because I am not you. When my husband comes home, when he holds me tight he will know that I will return his embrace with full gusto, that his children have heard great stories about daddy about how he loves them. He will know that his home, the home he bought for us, is standing in full honor and not shrouded in lies or mistrust. My greatest crime is the house not being as clean as it should be. Let it be know, you reep what you sew. And as a side note to you, husbands whose wives have hurt you...not all woman are the same, we cannot all be created equal. Guard your heart, think with your brain, and remember that love is a choice. I love my husband more than my own life, but it's not love alone that drives my devotion. And now I am off, to take a nap while our two children sleep away, otherwise, I will never catch up on sleep.

To you I stay true, for there is nothing else I want to do

Ode To My Husband

Have you ever met a person who's smile made you all warm and fuzzy inside? I have. His name is Michael, that's right honey, I used your name in full :) And let me tell you a few things about this man. He's sweet, but not in a mushy gushy type of way, I meanshe's genuinely sweet (not supposed to let everyone else know that either, sorry honey, your secret's out). He has an innate sense of finding just the right words at just the right time or performing just the right actions at just the right times and each time, I am stunned to silence. I still remember him pulling me close, holding me tight, a feeling that I haven't felt for a long while now. I love his smile, I love the way he pledges his undying love and devotion to me, I love the way he hugs our children, I love his cool under pressure, I love how he laughs and the way I feel when I hear him in joyful laughter, and lest I not forget, I love how he loves me. If everyone could see the man I see, he'd never get a moments rest for my husband is a beautiful person. I honor him with the entirety of my being. I would wait for years upon years if the end result would lead me to him; he is the man that makes me feel like a princess or better, a queen. He makes me feel like I am the smartess, the prettiest, and the funniest woman that ever walked the face of the earth. It has not all been easy, we have fought and found our way to each other time and again yet I pray each day for his safe return to me. I love this man who is the father of my children. I love this man who can drive me to such frustration and such happiness in the mear span of seconds. Love is a funny little thing, devotion is even funnier yet for it's devotion that drives my heart everyday...I am devoted to a man who means life for me. I am happy being his wife.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

The light bulb that saves energry.

Yeah, that's right, three blogs in one day. What can I say, I am on a role. It will slowly be less and less as the summer approaches. I have college coming up soon, starting in June. I am online with the hubby now, he's making a cake, so I have a few seconds to scribble a few more ideas down before they float away. We're talking about the new light bulb I put in the lamp beside our computer desk. It's supposed to save energy and last up to six years. I've really been getting on the recycling and energy saving kick. Now if I can just get to the recycling center here in town, we'll be doing fine. My poor dining room has become a plastic, cardboard, paper santuary. I have yet to turn on the air conditioner...thankfully it hasn't reached the high Kansas' temps yet. Tomorrow is Memorial Day, I am gonna grill some steaks up at the house. I hope the weather won't be as muggy as it has been lately. Ut oh...daughter has dropped bowl from her high chair...I love her little "ut oh" if her daddy could only hear her. Well...gotta go...

In The Beginning

I am not sure where to start. I have so much stuff that I wanna say and share and so little knowledge at how all this really works. Right now I have a very tired little girl tugging at the side of my shorts. She's upset with me for not helping put her sandals on. Ah, I suppose I should elaborate on that little girl tugging at my side. She's Care Bear, as her daddy nicknamed her before birth, and she is a little spit fire. She has her daddy's magical blue eyes and his smile which hits right to the center of my heart each time she smiles. What makes her so interesting is her entrance into the world. On the bathroom floor of our three bedroom home just two short hours after Christmas was officially over. I laugh as I think back to my husband and his look of shock as he saw her little head crowning between my legs. Ah, what a way for a husband to interact with his wife, delivering their daughter. And being the military soldier my husband is, he tied the umbilical cord off with 5-50 cord. What can I say, my life is fully of laughter and adventure. Stay tooned...some excitement is always around the bend.